Relationships in the DR

Culturally, the Dominican Republic is very different from the United States. I've learned so much about the importance of relationships here. Lately the government has been cracking down harsher laws on prostitution. Two weeks ago, in Sosúa, the police went through the streets arresting women. Almost any non-foreigner female who was out was arrested for prostitution. It doesn’t matter if a woman is actually involved in that business or not, they will still get arrested. Many clubs were shut down, and the people of Sosúa couldn’t do anything about it. It’s hard to prove that a woman is being a prostitute, but the Dominican judicial system believes the people are “guilty before proven innocent.” There’s a teacher at my school who is Dominican, and is dating a white man who’s 10 years older than her. The police tried to arrest her because they assumed she was not in a legitimate relationship. It is hard not to look at every “cafe con leche” (coffee with milk as the Dominican say) couple and not assume that the girl is a prostitute. It’s so common here, that when someone is actually a real couple, people have a hard time believing it.

On the other side there are “sanky-pankys.” A “Sanky-Panky” is a man who dates foreigners for their money and/or citizenship. Sometimes the men will ask their girlfriends to pay for their meals, or buy them things. Other times they are only in the relationship to get citizenship to travel and live somewhere else. The worst kinds of “Sanky-Pankies” are those who are after both. Whenever any foreigner girl is in a relationship with a Dominican boy, people think that he’s a “Sanky-Panky.”

For those in real relationships, men are not always faithful. Dominicans are known for having multiple girlfriends. I watched a movie the other day about a married Dominican man who constantly lied to his wife and went out to the clubs. My Spanish teacher explained to me that this happens all too often. While this does occur in the United States, it seems that it is almost accepted here for a man to be unfaithful. Machismo is very much alive here.

But of course, there are couples who are happy and don’t fall into any of the categories. One of the cutest stories I’ve heard was about one of the German teachers at the school. She’s from Lichtenstein, and married a Dominican man. They have three kids who speak both Spanish and German, and are happily married.

People seem to be very interested in relationships here. In the United States, when first meeting someone, usually two people talk about simple details. Here, almost always, one of the first questions asked is “are you married?” Just the other day I was asked “is he your husband?” and the guy pointed to a 35 year old. I thought that was one of the funnier moments of my life, being that I’m 18. Nevertheless, I don't think I'll ever fall in love with a Dominican. They seem too complicated!